


That One Time James Lost the Battle But Won the War...

by Talonwillow (TalonWillow)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bets & Wagers, F/F, Leather Trousers, Lily has the last laugh, Polyjuice Potion, Shrieking Shack, Sirius trying to be sneaky, Subterfuge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:53:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24992614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalonWillow/pseuds/Talonwillow
Summary: Seeing your girl, snogging your best mate was never on James' list of things he wanted to see. But he is certainly reaping the benefits of her enlightening snog. In more ways than one.
Relationships: James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10
Collections: The Last Marauder Standing





	That One Time James Lost the Battle But Won the War...

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing the Marauders, hopefully, I have done them some justice. 
> 
> Credit where credit is due... This is JK's world, I am only playing in it! 
> 
> Also, I borrowed "Phrasing" from the amazing show Archer...I find myself saying it all too often nowadays! 
> 
> #FinalStandProngs

"James, No, I will not make out with you while you are polyjuiced as Sirius." Lily made it sound like she was saying no to a second helping of Sunday roast, not a morally and ethically questionable potions experiment. 

"Sorry, mate, you heard the lady...", James responded to the sour-faced Sirius. 

"Lils, come on. You know you want to, I mean who wouldn't want to kiss me?", Sirius' cockiness really knew no bounds.

"Give me a break, I'd rather kiss Pete," Lily replied, just to rile Sirius' up a little. Peter looked up with huge eyes before cupping his hand around his mouth, checking his breath. He was obviously presuming Lily was serious. "Kidding," she threw out before he got his hopes up too much.

"I mean; honestly, you'd be getting the best of both worlds, eh." Sirius was still trying to press the issue. "It'd still be your little boyfriend you'd be sucking face with, but you'd  _ technically _ be able to tell everyone you got to kiss the one and only Sirius Black. Unless you're afraid you'd like it too much...oomph, ow, mate that hurt."

"Watch it there, Pads," James warned as he hit his best mate over the head with the dusty throw pillow, dust bits dispersed through the air. "You never did clarify why you needed me to dress like this. By the way, I am absolutely keeping my hair like this. I don't care what you lot say. What's your game here, anyway?"

James had been on board for whatever shenanigans were on the agenda as soon as he had received the cryptic message attached to a parcel earlier that day. 

"Same Bat Time. Same Bat Place. Put these on." 

Inside the parcel had been a pair of snug leather trousers that obviously belonged to Sirius as well as a long black looking kimono-looking thing. James was sure he had seen one of the muggle Rock-Gods, Steven Mercury, or Freddie Tyler, whatever their name was wearing one. There was also a transfiguration spell torn from a book that showed how to grow one's hair long. After his last class, he had changed quickly. He performed the spell, admiring the mirror's results in the boys' dormitory before throwing his school robes on over the sheer kimono and leather trousers that chafed something fierce. He rushed off to the secret passageway that would lead to the Shrieking Shack, or what they had been affectionately calling 'The Bat Cave.' 

He felt absurd as he looked around at his group of friends and his girlfriend as they all seemed normal, well normal for them. Remus and Peter were still in their school uniforms. While Lily and Sirius had already changed into their muggle after-school clothes. James, though was standing out like a sore thumb. 

“Marl...Sa…i...Wa...a..ba..kis..” Sirius murmured under his breath. 

"Come again?" Peter said, realizing his mistake as soon as he had said it. 

"Phrasing," Remus and Lily shouted at Peter at the same time, glaring at each other, each wanting to be the first to catch one of the others in an innuendo…

"I SAID…," Sirius started, ignoring Remus and Lily's eye-dueling.," Marlene said I wasn't...Ah, Fuck...She said I was a lousy kisser; there are you lot happy now?" 

There was absolute quiet inside what was ordinarily a very noisy building, before 4 deep barks of laughter could be heard, as well as smacks of knees and snorts. Lily and James were laughing so hard they weren't paying attention to what was going on, and their heads collided. Pain be damned, the laugher continued. 

"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah… Laugh it up." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"So let me get this straight.", James said through his tears." You wanted me to what, dress up as you and then take a nasty-ass potion that would make me look like you and then make out with MY girlfriend so that you could…", he glanced at the others for assistance, none came. "Take notes on my, er...your kissing form?" 

Sirius looked at James and nodded, "Well, yeah!" 

The laughter fired up again, this time, it had Peter running from the room crying, "I'm gonna pee on meself, I can't hold it in." 

James and Lily had crumpled onto the couch, gripping their guts and wiping the tears from their eyes. 

"A fat load of help you lot are.", Sirius snapped. He would have to try a different tactic here. He shifted to Moony, and with his pathetic, puppy eyes, he looked up imploringly at him. 

"No, Bad Dog.", Remus swatted at him with a laugh, "Nope, I won't do it. I see what you are thinking. I will not Polyjuice as Lily so that I can make out with James, who would be polyjuiced as you just so you can see what you look like kissing a bird so you can perfect your game." 

"That's the thing, isn't it? She says I have no game.", Sirius said with a catch in his voice, like a cry was caught in his throat, threatening to escape. He sat down with a huff onto the dusty sofa that Lily and James had just abandoned. "I think I've lost my mojo mates. Gone, poof." He made a little hand motion in the air like a bubble rupturing in the air. 

"Oh, for goodness' sakes. You get a one-time; that's it.", Lily growled out as she straddled Sirius' lap and pressed her strawberry colored lips to his. Sirius fitted his lips to hers as Lily kissed him deeply. Each time he tried to place his open-palmed hands onto her denim covered arse, she would slap them away while snogging him smoothly. As she broke the kiss, she said in her most instructive voice, "A little less tongue and definitely some breath-freshening charms, but overall not bad. I'm not quite sure what Marlene was complaining about. You're no James, that's for sure, but I'll give you an E-for exceeds expectations. " 

The leggy redhead got up off of the grinning Sirius's lap and walked over to her slack-jawed boyfriend. In a loud whisper for the others to hear, "Now I need you to make me completely forget that I just snogged your best mate and show me what an Outstanding Kiss looks like. Besides, you in SIRIUS'S TROUSERS..." She enunciated the last bit as she turned and sent a smirk over to Sirius, whose face went from a grin to a petulant grimace quickly. "Is really doing something to me." 

"Don't have to tell me twice." Replied James, the leather had just become a little tighter. With a saucy smile and the crook of her finger, Lily led him out into the other room, past a flabbergasted looking Peter. Who was now looking around, fully aware he had missed something huge. 

Remus sat down on the couch next to the still silent man. Sirius' booted foot was trying to find the throw pillow from the ground to place in his lap. 

"You bet James you could get Lily to kiss you, didn't you?", Remus guessed with a grin at his friend's visible discomfort. 

Sirius just nodded his head, "Yup back in 5th year, 20 galleons, I could get her to kiss me." He was still looking towards the direction James and Lily had just exited and where there was now little kissing noises between giggling sighs.

"Twenty large mate, that's awesome.", Remus congratulated him on winning the bet but pulled up short. Sirius went back to staring dumbfounded at the door, with a distressed expression on his face. "I don't get it, you should be happy." 

"Oh, I would be, If Lily hadn't made a bet with me," Sirius responded back, the pained expression on his face changed slightly to a look of awe. "Last week she bet me 50 Galleons James could get into my pants before Marlene could." 


End file.
